We are new to the boat we did manage to raise the mast but only with the help of some strong men, We are both in our 70s
As for lowering our instructions say the mast lowering is 'precisely the same as raising it' - clearly that is an impossibility. And even if you just start with the last instruction first I think that would end in disaster.

As the last instruction is to attach the forestay. Well presumably ifundoing that was the first thing you did that would not be a good idea.

Please can someone gives a step by step guide as to what to do. we have been given a better stainless steel rod to use in place of the spinnaker pole and as we have a furling jib I seem to remember we were told to use the spinnaker halyard to do the hoisting/lowering is this correct?

Please if there is anyone out there who can help us that would be great.

Before I attempted to raise or lower my mast I made an internet YOUTUBE search , there are quite many Video,s on the subject, I strongly recommend watching a few.
The stainless steel pole is known as a "Gin" pole. I use my spinnaker pole which is clipped on to the forward eye at the base of the mast although I now use an M16 Eye nut fitted onto the mast foot bolt in place of the nut; I think this is stronger than the two rivets holding the eye. The Gin Pole require stabilizing line fixed to its outer end and run back through a block fitted to the halyard turning blocks in line with the mast foot. Run this back and make off on the middle deck cleat. Check that your Gin pole rotates back in a smooth central arc before attempting to drop the mast.

I raise and lower my mast single handed but do cheat in that I have a 12v electric hoist which is radio controlled. It is fastened to the trailer under the bow with the Dynema winch line running through temporary turning block to guide it neatly to the end on the Gin pole. It leave me free to walk around and check everything is lining up properly - particularly when erecting mast check the shroud turn buckles are lined up. These winches are available on ebay - mine cost £90 a few years ago.